how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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