he thought i was a dude.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
