I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
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You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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