I CAN MOONWALK!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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