3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think i peed on brittanys purse
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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