K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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