Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
