youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
