she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
