Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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