I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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