Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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