She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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