is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
