You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
