you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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