This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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