I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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