i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
