that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
