My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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