Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
