Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize