the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
vagina is talking i cant
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
