She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
