idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
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Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
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Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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