Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
