everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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