In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize