how can u be prego again
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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