even my farts smell like vagina
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
