hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
