eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
