i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
