My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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