you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
These tits shall not be calmed
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize