Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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