I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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