How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
