people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize