NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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