guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
