If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
