She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
