I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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