do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
