walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
