My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
its liver damage thursday
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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