The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
