butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Even my vagina gasped.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
