Its about making memories worth repressing
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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