dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
