can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
