I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
