We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
