You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
