I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
