how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
