Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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