Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
